Take Perspective
"Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so."
Taking perspective is a powerful skill that can transform how you navigate interpersonal relationships. It involves stepping outside your own viewpoint and making the effort to see things from another person’s point of view.
This doesn’t mean you have to agree with them, but rather that you try to understand their thoughts, feelings, and motivations. While it takes practice and patience, the benefits of perspective-taking—reduced conflict, enhanced empathy, and improved communication—are well worth the effort.
Why It Matters
In any relationship—whether with a partner, friend, family member, or colleague—misunderstandings and conflicts are bound to happen. Often, these arise because each person is focused on their own point of view, unable to see where the other is coming from.
When you take perspective, you’re showing that you value the other person’s experiences and emotions. This can significantly reduce tension and create a more supportive environment, where both parties feel heard and understood. In addition, taking perspective helps you to communicate more effectively, as it enables you to tailor your responses in a way that acknowledges the other person’s feelings and concerns.
How to Take Perspective
Taking perspective is a skill that requires practice and intentionality. Here are some steps to help you develop this ability:
Reflect
Before reacting to a situation, take a moment to pause and reflect. Ask yourself, “How might the other person be feeling right now?” or “What could be motivating their actions or words?” This brief pause allows you to shift your focus from your own immediate reaction to considering the other person’s experience.
Open-Ended Questions
Engaging the other person in conversation by asking open-ended questions can provide insight into their perspective. Questions like, “Can you help me understand where you’re coming from?” or “What’s your take on this situation?” encourage the other person to share their thoughts and feelings, giving you a clearer picture of their viewpoint.
Listen Actively
Active listening is crucial when taking perspective. This means truly focusing on what the other person is saying without interrupting, planning your response, or judging their words. Give them your full attention, and show that you’re listening by nodding, making eye contact, and occasionally summarizing what they’ve said to ensure you’ve understood correctly.
Put Yourself in Their Shoes
Try to imagine how you would feel if you were in the other person’s situation. Consider their background, experiences, and current circumstances. This doesn’t mean you have to agree with them, but it can help you understand why they might be feeling or acting a certain way.
Acknowledge Their Feelings
Once you’ve considered the other person’s perspective, acknowledge their feelings. This doesn’t have to be an admission that you’re wrong; rather, it’s a way of validating their experience. You might say, “I can see how this situation would be frustrating for you,” or “It sounds like you’re really concerned about this issue.” Acknowledging their feelings shows that you respect their emotions and are willing to consider their viewpoint.
Respond Thoughtfully
After taking perspective, respond in a way that reflects your understanding of the other person’s feelings and concerns. This doesn’t mean you have to agree or concede, but it does mean addressing their perspective in your response. For example, “I understand why you feel that way, and here’s how I see it…” This approach creates a more constructive and respectful dialogue.
Challenges
While taking perspective is a valuable skill, it’s not always easy. Emotions, biases, and stress can make it difficult to see beyond your own point of view. Here are some common challenges and how to overcome them:
- Strong Emotions - When you’re feeling angry or hurt, it can be hard to consider someone else’s perspective. In these moments, it’s helpful to take a step back, calm down, and revisit the conversation when you’re in a more balanced state of mind.
- Biases - Personal biases can cloud your judgment and make it difficult to see things from another’s perspective. Recognizing your own biases is the first step toward overcoming them. Challenge yourself to set aside preconceived notions and approach the situation with an open mind.
- Assumptions - We often make assumptions about what others are thinking or feeling, which can lead to misunderstandings. Instead of assuming, ask clarifying questions and listen to the other person’s explanation.