Learn from Failure
"I've failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed."
Learning from failure is key to letting go of control. When you see failure as a natural and valuable part of growth, you realize that not every outcome needs to be controlled. Viewing failure as an opportunity to learn rather than a setback changes your approach. Instead of striving for perfection and fearing mistakes, you begin to see the lessons in each failure. This shift reduces the need to control every detail and promotes a growth mindset focused on continuous improvement.
Reducing Fear and Anxiety
Fear of failure often drives the need for excessive control. Learning from failure helps build resilience and reduce this fear. Understanding that mistakes are part of learning and provide essential feedback eases the anxiety around failure. With less fear, you can let go of the need to micromanage situations and outcomes, becoming more comfortable with uncertainty and the potential for mistakes.
How to Learn From Failure
Get Some Distance
If negative emotions are getting in the way of your understanding, they also suggest trying self-distancing techniques. This involves thinking of your personal experience from the outside perspective of a neutral third party, asking, “Why did Jeremy fail?” instead of “Why did I fail?” While that might sound cheesy, it seems to work.
Analyze What Went Wrong
Break down the failure into its components to understand what specifically didn’t work. This analysis can reveal patterns or recurring issues that you can address. Identifying the root cause helps prevent similar failures in the future.
Seek Feedback
Ask for feedback from others to gain different perspectives on what went wrong and how to improve. Constructive feedback can provide valuable insights that you might not have considered. Be open to suggestions and use them to enhance your skills and strategies.
Learn from Others
Look at how others have handled failure. Reading biographies or case studies of successful people who have overcome failures can be inspiring and provide practical strategies for dealing with your own setbacks.
Take Action
Don’t let fear of failure paralyze you. Take action and implement the lessons you’ve learned. Experiment with new approaches and be willing to adapt. The more you practice, the better you’ll become at handling and learning from failure.