Setting Realistic Expectations for Yourself
”I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble.”
Setting realistic expectations for yourself is necessary for managing frustration and achieving your goals. This process involves a walkthrough of your abilities, resources, and circumstances to establish achievable and meaningful goals, reducing the likelihood of frustration, and actually crossing the finish line. Here’s a straightforward guide to do just that.
Self-Assessment
Start by conducting a thorough self-assessment - this can be tough. You’re going to have to evaluate your strengths, weaknesses, skills, and limitations honestly. Reflect on past experiences to identify what has worked well and what has led to disappointment or failure. By gaining a clear understanding of your capabilities, you can set your expectations to align with your actual abilities, increasing your chances of success. Ask yourself questions like:
Self-Assessment Questions
- What are my core strengths and talents?
- What are my weaknesses and areas for improvement?
- What situations have I struggled with in the past?
- What resources (time, money, support) do I currently have available?
- What external factors might impact my ability to achieve what I want?
- What are the potential obstacles I might face?
- Who can I seek advice or support from during my journey?
- What sacrifices am I willing to make to achieve my goal?
- What is a realistic timeline for achieving my goal?
- What role does my physical health play in my ability to achieve my goal?
- What role does my mental health play in my ability to achieve my goal?
- How do I typically respond to challenges and setbacks?
- What is my contingency plan if things don’t go as expected?
- Do I have a way to recover if I fail?
Define Clear Goals
Define clear and specific goals. Break down your overall objectives into smaller, more manageable tasks. This approach not only makes your goals more attainable but also provides a clear roadmap to follow, making it easier to track your progress. Use the SMART criteria for building solid goals:
SMART Goals
Specific
Your goals should be clear and detailed. A specific goal answers: What do I want to achieve? Why is this goal important? Who is involved? Where will it take place? When do I want to achieve it? Being specific helps you set a clear target and create a plan to reach it.
Measurable
To track your progress, you need criteria for measurement. A measurable goal answers: How much? How many? How will I know when it is accomplished? This helps you track progress and celebrate milestones.
Achievable
Your goals should be realistic and attainable. An achievable goal answers: How can I accomplish this goal? What steps and resources do I need? Setting achievable goals ensures you consider your abilities and resources.
Relevant
Your goals should align with your broader objectives and be meaningful to you. A relevant goal answers: Does this goal matter to me? Is it aligned with my other goals? Relevance ensures your goals are worthwhile and keep you motivated.
Time-Bound
Every goal needs a target date to provide urgency and keep you on track. A time-bound goal answers: When do I want to achieve this goal? What is the deadline? Setting a timeframe creates a clear endpoint and helps you plan the steps needed to achieve your goal.
External Factors
Think about external factors that might impact your goals, like time, money, and support systems. For example, if you’re working full-time, it might be unrealistic to expect to complete a degree quickly. Set goals that fit your situation.
Feedback
Ask for feedback from mentors, colleagues, friends, or family. They can provide valuable insights and help ensure your goals are realistic. For example, discussing career goals with a mentor can give you a better understanding of what’s achievable.
Adjust
Setting realistic expectations is not a one-time activity; it requires ongoing monitoring and adjustment. Regularly review your progress and adjust your goals as needed. Be flexible and willing to change your plans based on new information or changing circumstances.
Self-Compassion
Throughout the process of setting and pursuing goals, it is important to practice self-compassion. Recognize that setbacks and failures are a natural part of any journey. Avoid harsh self-criticism and instead, focus on learning from your experiences. Being kind to yourself helps maintain a positive mindset and supports resilience.
Celebrate Milestones
Celebrating small wins along the way reinforces positive behavior and helps keep you motivated. Acknowledging and rewarding yourself for the progress you make, no matter how small, builds momentum and reinforces your commitment to achieving your goals.
Reflect
Take the time to reflect on what you learn throughout the process. Identify what works and what doesn’t, and use this insight to set better goals in the future. Learning from your experiences helps you improve over time, and not every attempt will succeed: that’s part of the refinement process - carry the experience with you into the next attempt!