Feedback from Others
“We all need people who will give us feedback. That’s how we improve.”
Seeking feedback from others is a valuable strategy for developing your self-awareness. To start, find a trusted friend or family member and ask them to give you some honest feedback. You can tell them that you’re trying to develop greater self-awareness and that you’d appreciate honest answers to your questions - not just answers that would make you feel better.
When you approach them, communicate your intentions clearly: explain that you are seeking feedback to improve yourself. Be specific in your requests, asking for feedback on particular behaviors, interactions, or situations rather than general commentary. This specificity can help you gain more actionable insights.
Feedback Questions
- What dynamic do I bring to a social situation?
- Am I someone you often choose to go to for either advice or comfort?
- How do you feel about the way I listen to you during conversations?
- Do I have strengths in one context that may be a weakness in another (and vis versa)?
- Do you notice any specific triggers that seem to make me more emotionally reactive?
- How do you perceive the balance of give-and-take in our relationship?
- How would you describe my ability to empathize with others?
- How do I typically handle conflicts or disagreements with you?
- Are there any habits or behaviors of mine that you find challenging or disruptive?
- How do you perceive that I show up for you during tough times?
- In what ways do you think I have grown or changed since we’ve known each other?
Active Listening is essential during this process: focus on the person giving feedback, showing that you are engaged and interested. Avoid interrupting, even if the feedback is difficult to hear. Taking notes can help you remember and reflect on the feedback later, so be sure that you have some method of keeping track of what is said.
Once the session is complete, ensure that you thank them for the feedback - expressing gratitude is important. Acknowledge the effort the person has put into providing feedback and let them know you value their insights: this will encourage them to continue providing feedback in the future.
As you reflect on the feedback, seek to identify patterns of both strength and areas for improvement in equal measure, avoiding the tendency to focus too much on one or the other. Implement the changes based on the feedback by setting specific, actionable goals for improvement. Monitor your progress and check in with yourself and possibly with the feedback providers to assess how you are doing and make any necessary adjustments.
Finally, make feedback-seeking a regular part of your self-awareness journey. Seek ongoing feedback to continuously refine your understanding of yourself. Periodic check-ins can help you assess your progress and ensure that you are consistently working towards your personal growth goals.
By thoughtfully seeking and utilizing feedback from others, you can gain valuable insights into your emotional state, behavior, and social interactions, significantly enhancing your self-awareness and personal growth.