Relationship Bill of Rights
“A loving relationship is one in which the loved one is free to be himself – to laugh with me, but never at me; to cry with me, but never because of me.”
As a Person
- I have the right to be treated with courtesy and respect.
- I have the right to say no.
- I have the right to say yes and be believed.
- I have the right to make mistakes.
- I have the right to reject unsolicited advice or feedback.
- I have the right to negotiate for change.
- I have the right to change my mind or my plans.
- I have the right to change my circumstances or course of action.
- I have the right to have my own feelings, beliefs, opinions, preferences, and express them even if they differ from others.
- I have the right to protest sarcasm, destructive criticism, or unfair treatment.
- I have the right to feel angry and to express it non-abusively.
- I have the right to refuse to take responsibility for anyone else’s problems.
- I have the right to refuse to take responsibility for anyone’s bad behavior.
- I have the right to feel ambivalent and to occasionally be inconsistent.
- I have the right to play, waste time and not always be productive.
- I have the right to occasionally be childlike and immature.
- I have the right to complain about life’s unfairness and injustices.
- I have the right to occasionally be irrational in safe ways.
- I have the right to seek healthy and mutually supportive relationships.
- I have the right to ask friends for a modicum of help and emotional support.
- I have the right to complain and verbally ventilate in moderation.
- I have the right to grow, evolve and prosper.
- I have the right to be free from coercion, violence and intimidation.
- I have the right to my own body, which extends to ornamentation, temporary, or permanent modification of it.
- I have the right to be who I am in terms of sexual identity, orientation, and expression, without having others contradict, ridicule, or deny my identity
In All Relationships
- I have the right to choose the level of involvement, intimacy, and physicality I want.
- I have the right to revoke consent to any form of intimacy at any time.
- I have the right to be told the truth.
- I have the right to feel all my emotions.
- I have the right to communicate my emotions and needs.
- I have the right to have, set, and expect boundaries concerning my privacy.
- I have the right to set clear limits on the obligations I will make.
- I have the right to seek balance between what I give to the relationship and what is given back to me.
- I have the right to know that my partner will work with me to constructively resolve problems that arise.
- I have the right to choose for myself whether I want a relationship that is monogamous or not, and to seek partners who want the same things I do.
- I have the right to have agreements respected, and to have the option of renegotiating agreements that are no longer working.
- I have the right to end a relationship at any time for any reason.
In Non-Monogamous Relationships
- I have the right to decide how many romantic partners I want.
- I have the right to decide how many sexual partners I want.
- I have the right to choose my own partners.
- I have the right to have an equal say with each of my partners in deciding what form my relationship with that partner will take.
- I have the right to choose the level of time and investment I will offer to each partner.
- I have the right to understand clearly any rules that will apply to my relationship before entering into it.
- I have the right to discuss with my partners any decisions that may affect me.
- I have the right to have time alone with each of my partners.
- I have the right to enjoy passion and special moments with each of my partners.
In a Family or Intimate Network
- I have the right to choose the level of involvement and intimacy I want with other members of the family or network.
- I have the right to seek compromise.
- I have the right to have relationships with people, not with relationships.
- I have the right to be treated as a peer of every other person, not as a subordinate.