Personal Values
”Values are like fingerprints. Nobody’s are the same, but you leave ’em all over everything you do.”
Understanding the root of your behaviors and actions requires knowing your personal values. If you realize that your choices aren’t in line with your values, that may be a sign of a lack of self-awareness. Clarifying your personal values is a fundamental step in developing self-awareness.
To begin, dedicate time to introspection, focusing on what truly matters to you. Reflect on past experiences, both positive and negative, and consider what made those moments significant.
Next, create a list of potential values: these might include qualities such as honesty, compassion, integrity, or ambition. Write them down, type them out, whatever is easiest.
Put down everything that resonates with you without filtering or judging. If you’re not sure where to start here’s a list of question that might provoke some thought:
Personal Values Questions
- What qualities do I admire in others?
- Think of a time when I felt proud of myself. What values were at play?
- When did I feel most disappointed or upset with myself? What value was being compromised?
- If I had unlimited time and resources, what would I spend my time doing?
- What do I most want to contribute to the world or to those around me?
- Who has had the most significant impact on my life, and what values did they teach me?
- What recurring themes or issues cause friction in my relationships? What values might these reflect?
- What are the non-negotiables in my life—things I absolutely cannot compromise on?
- What activities or tasks make me lose track of time because I enjoy them so much?
- What values are threatened by the things that make me most anxious or angry?
- Which of my values have remained constant over time, and which have evolved?
Once you have a comprehensive list, narrow it down to the most important values by considering which ones are non-negotiable and which ones you prioritize in your daily life. This process of elimination helps you focus on the values that are truly central to your identity.
To further clarify your personal values, examine how they align with your actions and decisions. Reflect on recent choices you’ve made and consider whether they were in line with your identified values.
For example, if honesty is a core value, think about times when you were truthful, even when it was difficult. Conversely, consider instances where your actions might have contradicted your values. Understanding these discrepancies can highlight areas for growth and adjustment.
Documenting your values in a personal mission statement can further solidify your understanding. Write a concise statement that encapsulates your core values and how you intend to live by them. This mission statement can serve as a guiding light, reminding you of what is most important and helping you stay aligned with your values in daily life.
Regularly revisiting and reflecting on your values is crucial. As you grow and evolve, your values may shift. Periodic reflection ensures that your values remain relevant and aligned with your current life circumstances and goals.
By consistently clarifying and reaffirming your personal values, you strengthen your self-awareness and create a solid foundation for making authentic and fulfilling life choices. Ultimately, your personal values are your own, and it’s fine if they change, and long as you are honest with yourself about your adherence to them.
Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive dissonance occurs when your beliefs and behaviors clash, creating inner tension. Recognizing and addressing this dissonance is key to breaking harmful cycles and promoting personal growth.
Start by noticing when you feel conflicted between what you believe and what you do. This discomfort signals cognitive dissonance. For example, you might value health but struggle with unhealthy habits. Acknowledging this tension is the first step toward change.
To reconcile conflicting beliefs and behaviors, consider adjusting either your actions or your mindset. If your behavior isn’t aligning with your values, focus on making changes that bring the two into harmony. Alternatively, if your beliefs need revising, allow yourself to adapt and grow.
Cognitive dissonance can be a powerful tool for growth. When you face this inner conflict, it pushes you to reflect, make changes, and ultimately align your life more closely with your values.